Untitled
(to his brother on Tim's birthday, 2021)
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I sit along the riverside
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I was born and raised in Sydney
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- about finding a waterfall in the bush when they were young -
We found it in the summertime
Amongst the swaying trees
And in my mind wove tapestries
Of sunshine in the breeze
And still I see those woven threads
Within my closing eye
The river slowly flowing by
No blemish in the sky
And still that scene continues on
And in that picture spun
The river falls and foams and runs
To chase the golden sun
But that wondrous dream is over now
And the threads begin to fray
For the past that tore my heart away
Has darkened all my days
Now uncertain future beckons me
But my life it counts for nought
'Neath the weight of sentimental thought
Against which I have fought
And still that battle wages on
'Til all my mind is frayed
Scarring all that I have made
And happy memories fade
But the creeping dark is kept at bay
By one final memory
A picture that has kept me free
Though returning, only me
So I turn again down river clear
To watch the tumbling falls
And hear the waters joyous call
My spirit standing tall
And I take the summer's golden thread
And weave it all anew
To Immortalise the joy I knew
In remembrance of you
And so I love that timeless land
Of peaceful memories
And weave the finest tapestries
Of sunshine in the breeze
I Wish
Oh how I wish I was a cat
On a comfy cushion sat
To sleep in sunbeams everyday
Wasting all my time away
Oh how I wish I was a dog
Lounging like a floofy log
Barking at the passers-by
Oh that would be a nice surprise
Oh how I wish I was a bird
Singing sweet in joy and mirth
When I want I'd take to wing
Oh that would be a lovely thing
Oh how I wish I was a rat
Gnawing grain and growing fat
Curled up like a fuzzy ball
I do believe that is my call
And how I wish I was a mouse
Tucked safely in my mousey house
Snuggled tight within my nest
I really think that would be best
I even wish to be a tree
Growing tall and proud and free
Planted firmly on the ground
Oh I must say that would be sound
Oh I just wish I weren't a man
I must admit I'm not a fan
Of all the worry, fear and strife
I'd rather have a different life
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The Riverside
And watch the ducks go sliding by
And the dancing dragonflies
I watch as summer passes by
The joyous birds up in the sky
Heed in the breeze a happy sigh
And there amongst those pleasantries
The swaying grass and shaded trees
Bask in peace and joy, serenity
I hear the waters whispering
And the loud cicadas echoing
Ere the cricket chorus following
From dawn to dusk, from dusk to dawn
I lay in peace upon the lawn
To find an even brighter morn
And so in summer's joyful grace
The shining sun upon my face
I find my peace, my happy place
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The Liarbird
A car in the bush?
Well it just cannot be
But I'm sure that's
A V8 I hear
Getting closer and closer
And crashing through trees
And now getting
Scarily near
It's coming right for me
Well bugger me dead
I just stop and I
Cower in fright
Like the silly old roo
It has often been said
Will do when he sees
The headlights
But wait where's the sound?
Why there's nothing at all
So I open my eyes
Just a peek
And a bird's on the path
And he's standing up tall
Pointing and laughing!
The cheek
"Hah hah" said the bird
"Has you brain turned to mush?
A ridiculous fool
That you are"
"Did you honestly think
In the midst of the bush
You'd get hit by
An actual car?"
And before I managed to
Think up a retort
That little bird
Just up and dashed
And just what was that bird?
A peacock of sorts?
But small and not
Nearly so flash
So I stood there bewildered
And try as I might
Completely beflumoxed
I say
But still I walked on
For the sun was so bright
And I had most
The rest of the day
And then deep in the bush
While I'm having a drink
I hear such a
Magnificent sound
A Tasmanian Tiger!
So it isn't extinct
With this discovery
Glory abounds!
So I silently sneak
Trusty camera in hand
Til I see there's a
Clearing ahead
The tiger is there
So I pop round a plant...
It's that stupid old
Birdy instead
"Who are you?" I cry
As the camera takes flight
While he's rolling around
In his glee
But he jumps to a branch
As the camera flies by
And smashes 'gainst
The trunk of a tree
"I'm the lyrebird dumb-dumb,
Greatest mimic there is.
Why here's my
Impression of you"
And he cries and he wails
Like a 3 year old kid
Whose pants have all
Filled up with poo
So utterly fuming I
Continue along
Past beauty both
Rich and rare
Til I stumble upon
A nice pristine billabong
A place where all
Travelers beware
I go sneakily silently
Tiptoeing past
Holding my breath
For dear life
But PLOP goes my foot
In the mud it's stuck fast
Oh now I'm in
For some strife
From above comes a roar
And I'm shitting my pants
Wait... did I just
Say from above?
Oh goddamit that bird!
Now he's doing a dance
I wish he'd go
On and shove
"Ho ho" said the bird
"Were your pants always brown?
Come on man the
Bunyip's not real"
"You think so Mr. Bird?
Then you must be a clown,
In that case whose
Cry did you steal?"
He just roared once again
But he sounded unsure
And his laughter
Beginning to slow
"WHO DARES TO MOCK ME"
Came a terrible roar
From the depths of
The water below
And from out of those depths
Came a monstrous form
"COME ON THEN LET'S
HAVE US A FEAST"
Well we jumped least 10 foot
At that oncoming storm
And the sight of the
Billabong beast
In the blink of an eye
We cleared over a mile
As we hurried and
Scampered away
And then huffing and puffing
Well I just cracked a smile
And we laughed for the
Rest of the day
And now on the weekends
When I go for my walks
Well I know I'll
Not be on my own
For the liarbird and I
Well we'll laugh and we'll talk
And we'll trick travelers
Walking alone
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All quiet in the southern bush
All you guys on your dirt bikes
Can go straight to hell
Just fuck off
And leave me in peace
A nice tranquil bush
Is what I adore
Your cacophony
Not in the least
Oh that's what I love
When I'm lost in my thoughts
To be met
With a horrible din
Oh the joy when you're
Thundering, rumbling past
And the smell
What a wonderful thing
But think of the dog
The poor little thing
You bastards
You're scaring her stiff
And it's not that
I'm wanting to ruin your fun
But I'd rather
You ride off a cliff
I suppose that I
Might be a little too harsh
For the bush
Is for all to enjoy
But when you ruin the fun
For everyone else, well
It's best
That you pick a new toy
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A Prayer unto the most holy of mice
Oh CBA
So wonderfully sweet
The nicest of mice
I ever did meet
Oh CBA
So cuddly and round
Put up with my hugs
With nary a sound
Oh CBA
So lovely and soft
You never complain
When I hold you aloft
Oh CBA
The calmest of all
Content in my palm
Like a fuzzy brown ball
Oh CBA
The heftiest chonk
Sitting so peaceful
And serene as a monk
Oh CBA
With the squishiest cheeks
Oh how I aspire
To be so humble and meek
Oh CBA
Won't you teach me your ways
I wish merely to serve you
The rest of my days
Oh CBA
Yes, whatever you say
My majesical master
To you I shall pray
Oh CBA
It will be as a flood
The bodies of heathens
On your altar of blood
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Where the wild mice are
These wild sons o' bitches are driving me crazy
When at work all I wish for is just to be lazy
But I open their cage and they've a grin on their face
And they start hopping and bouncing all over the place
So they jump and they jump and they jump a bit more
Til suddenly all of them fall on the floor
And there they were prancing and dancing with glee
Like the floor of the bubble's the best place to be
"But now I must cull you" I told them aghast
"Don't care" said their leader, "we've freedom at last"
So I hunt them and chase them all over the bubble
While they're joyously causing me all sorts of trouble
Until finally, huffing and puffing with rage
I manage to round them up into a cage
"Right that's enough! That's enough of you brats,
I'm taking you home to be fed to the cats!"
"Oh please don't" they pleaded, "we were just having fun,
We promise we would've returned when we're done"
And I looked at them all with their little black eyes
"Oh alright, I give up, I can't do it!" I cried
So I snuck them back sneakily into their homes
And gifted them each a shiny clean dome
And now every week, we'll it's rather quite nice
We instead have a party, just me and the mice
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Alabaster
(mind, heart, soul)
now I know
now I know the way back home
now I know
now I know your weary bones
now I know
now I know my mind, my heart, my soul
Now unfold
my alabaster mind
so hold
hold me in your arms
or let me go
Don’t hold me in your mind
when you let me go
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Dandelion
And so once again the man packs up his things
And as like a dandelion in the wind
He walks out and closes the door
And heads for a future still unsure
That man never long in one place
Ever fearing that one would see through his face
That someone would stop him fleeing his past
And open his heart to feel at long last
Never knowing he leaves a part of him wherever he goes
If he stayed he would see love and happiness grow
But he dares never to dream, never to hope
Thinks the path from hope to pain is a slippery slope
If only that man saw that he just needs a friend
That his self-imposed suffering would end
But he thinks him too broken, refuses to see
Still chained to his burdens, won't let himself free
And so fearing attachment and shirking the light
He skulks away as a thief in the night
That poor, lost, forgotten thing
That dandelion in the wind
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After I'm Gone
Moonlight
Keeping me clear in sight
Watching me walk alone
Shivering in the winter breeze
Moonlight
Clear in the quiet night
Hearing my heart in
Inner turmoil and in peace
Starlight
Darkened by all my frights
Struggles against my mind
As lonesome as the past I mourn
Starlight
Shining above so bright
Guiding me on though
Treacherous is the path to dawn
But does this path I tread
Lead me to what I dread
Do I want to know the end
After I'm gone
Who will remember me
Under the sun, the moon, the stars
Who's left to call me from afar
After I'm gone
Who will remember me
Inside their heart and mind and soul
Who's left to grieve the light I stole
Sunlight
Burning with all it's might
Weighing my battered soul
Sweltering in the summer heat
Sunlight
Draining me of my fight
Blinding my weary eyes
Stealing the warmth my spirit needs
But does this path I tread
Lead me to what I fled
Do I want to know the end
After I'm gone
Who will remember me
Under the sun, the moon, the stars
Who's left to call me from afar
After I'm gone
Who will remember me
Inside their heart and mind and soul
Who's left to grieve the light I stole
After I'm gone
Who will remember me
After I'm gone
After I'm gone
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Oh Darling
Oh darling you're my comfort
Oh darling you're my calm
Oh darling you are everything I need
My darling you're an angel
My darling you're my grace
My darling you are everything I need
And I will stay with you forever
I will love you everyday
I will cherish every little thing you say
And if you stay with me forever
If you love me everyday
I know darling that we'll always be okay
Oh darling
My darling
Sweet darling
I am happy when I see you smile
Oh darling
My darling
Sweet darling
I am glad when you say you're mine
Oh darling
My darling
Sweet darling
I say I do
I will always love you
I saw I do
I'll always love you
Oh darling you're my safety
Oh darling you're my peace
Oh darling I will love love you evermore
My darling you're my hope
My darling you're my joy
My darling I will love you evermore
I will spend eternity
I will keep you in my sight
I will keep you everlasting I'm the light
If you spend eternity
If you keep me in your sight
I know darling that we will be alright
Oh darling
My darling
Sweet darling
I am happy when I see you smile
Oh darling
My darling
Sweet darling
I am glad when you say you're mine
Oh darling
My darling
Sweet darling
I say I do
I will always love you
I saw I do
I'll always love you
Oh darling
My darling
Sweet darling
I am happy to always be your man
Oh darling
My darling
Sweet darling
I'd be glad if you'd give me your hand
Oh darling
My darling
Sweet darling
I say I do
I will always love you
I saw I do
I'll always love you
Oh darling I do
My darling I do
Oh Sweet darling I will always love you
My Sweet darling I will always love you
Darling I will always love you
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Untitled
Before you I'd never
Thought of forever
All the things I'd undo
For forever with you
But my heart you outcast
And confine to the past
But I still want
Forever with you
You connected our souls
Now I cannot feel whole
Oh the things I would do
For forever with you
And a future I saw
But you wanted no more
But I still want
Forever with you
And still I believe
That we're meant to be
Oh if only I knew
A forever with you
And I wish I was strong
Or the time wasn't wrong
For I still want
Forever with you
But you tore me apart
With no thought for my heart
And so you outgrew
My forever with you
So I ask myself why
After all of your lies
Why I still want
Forever with you
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Untitled
Well the bright morning sun
Shining softly on me
She touches my skin
And all I can see
But her touch is far colder
Than what it used to be
Eyes the horizon and
Longs to be free
And the cloud's coming quickly
To smother my light
It brings the rain
And beckons the night
And when the storm has passed by me
And stolen my light
So goes my love
To pass out of sight
And I know there's another man
Taking my place
Basking in light
That once lit my face
And I know that they're both
In a happier place
But I won't begrudge
Him her grace
And I'm losing my love
Like I'm losing the day
But she's happy
So will not stay
And I know I'm not hers
At the end of the day
But she's happy
And I'll be okay
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Untitled
Oh I've done what I can
With patchwork and stone
Pretend that it's fine being alone
And I've done what I can
To fill in this hole
And say that I've always been whole
But I dig and dig
Deeper and down
Seeking an answer
That cannot be found
And I dig and dig
Deeper and down
Searching for the sun
Under the ground
And I've done what I can
With the rubble and stone
Pretend I've no need for a home
And I've done what I can
To cover this hole
And bury the last of my soul
But I dig and dig
Deeper and down
Seeking an answer
That cannot be found
And I dig and dig
Deeper and down
Searching for the sun
Under the ground
And I hear what is true
That it's easier with two
I will know if I just let you in
And I hear what is true
That it's easier with you
But I cower from the light you let in
In the dark that I know
Where my loneliness grows
Is the heart that I won't let you hear
But the dark that I know
Is the place that you'll go
To find what I want you to hear
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Untitled
Where the Parra flows to the bay
"Why would you want to live anywhere else"
I would hear my old folks say
But I grew tired of the noise and traffic
Of the horns going off every day
And so I woke and found one fateful morn
That I had no wish to stay
So I took my car out from Sydney
On a long and dusty ride
And I drove me far away from home
To see me the countryside
And there I found my answer
I found me my paradise
And though it was so far from home
A home there did I find
And now I'm happy here in the country
I'm happy here in the bush
I say I'm happy here in the countryside
I'm happy here in the bush
Now I'm enjoying all the mysteries
Of this wide and wondrous land
The hills and fields and waterfalls
The dusty barren sands
And I dream not of the city
Where they've got so many plans
Cause I ain't got much but what I got
Is time a plenty on my hands
And now I wake to smell the gum trees
And I watch the kangaroos
I hear the song of the pink galah
And the humble cockatoo
And of course I miss my family
And I miss my dear friends too
But I found a home where the gum trees grow
And I can do what I want to do
And now I'm happy here in the country
I'm happy here in the bush
I say I'm happy here in the countryside
I'm happy here in the bush
And oh it's better out in the country
It's better out in the bush
I say it's better out here in the countryside
It's better out in the bush
And oh I love it here in the country
I love it here in the bush
I say I love it here in the countryside
I love it here in the bush
I say I love it here in the countryside
I love it here in the bush
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Untitled
You stole my storm
Calmed the tempest in my mind
And amidst the raging storm
You found the hope I could not find
You stole my fire
Quenched the inferno of my mind
And in that scorching fire
You found the peace I could not find
You gave me hope
You gave me peace
Gave me something to believe
You gave me strength
Gave me relief
When you gave your heart to me
You gave me hope
You gave me peace
Gave me something to believe
You gave me strength
Gave me relief
When you gave your heart to me
You stole my fear
Eased the tumult in my mind
And among my doubt and fear
You found the strength I could not find
You stole my pain
Healed the sickness in my mind
And in that ever burning pain
You found relief I could not find
You gave me hope
You gave me peace
Gave me something to believe
You gave me strength
Gave me relief
When you gave your heart to me
You gave me hope
You gave me peace
Gave me something to believe
You gave me strength
Gave me relief
When you gave your heart to me
You stole the dark
When you took my night
You stole the dark
When you gave me sight
You stole the dark
You stole the dark
You stole the dark
When you stole my heart
You stole the dark
When you stole my heart
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Untitled
I love settling in on a Friday night
After a hard weeks work
With the dog by my side
Yeah I guess I love my life
Well that's just my luck
And I love hitting the town on a Friday night
I love singing a song
With my girl by my side
Yeah I guess I love my life
Well that's just my luck
But I don't love em quite as much
As I love my truck
Cause I love the freedom I feel
When I'm behind the wheel
I love old dirt roads
When the engine sings
Yeah I guess that's just my thing
Cause I got me a girl and a dog
Back home
But they don't mean a thing
When I'm on the road
Cause when I'm on the road
Just my truck and me
Well I'm telling you friend
I'm living the dream
Yeah they don't mean a thing
When the engine sings
I'm telling you friend
I'm living the dream
And I love drinking beer on a Saturday night
When the guitar plays
By the bonfire lights
Yeah I guess I love my life
Well that's just my luck
And I love sitting around on a Saturday night
When I'm cracking jokes
With the boys by my side
Yeah I guess I love my life
Well that's just my luck
But I don't love em quite as much
As I love my truck
I love the freedom I feel
When I'm behind the wheel
I love old dirt roads
When the engine sings
Yeah I guess that's just my thing
Cause I got me my boys and some beer
Back home
But they don't mean a thing
When I'm on the road
Cause when I'm on the road
Just my truck and me
Well I'm telling you friend
I'm living the dream
Yeah they don't mean a thing
When the engine sings
I'm telling you friend
I'm living the dream
Cause I love me a drive
That ain't time that I'm wastin
Cause I love me that feeling
Of a mini vacation
Well I guess that's just my thing
I love the freedom I feel
When I'm behind the wheel
I love old dirt roads
When the engine sings
Yeah I guess that's just my thing
Cause I got me a life that I love
Back home
But that don't mean a thing
When I'm on the road
Cause when I'm on the road
Just my truck and me
Well I'm telling you friend
I'm living the dream
Yeah that don't mean a thing
When the engine sings
I'm telling you friend
I'm living the dream
~ ~ ~
Untitled
One more day I'm down
One more day, same old bar
Another day in town
Another open scar
Cause one more day I cried
One more day wearing black
And failed again to try
To keep the memories coming back
Keep don't know my name
But he sure knows my face
And he sees my pain
But he still keeps my place
So pour a glass my friend
One more to dull the hurt
A bottle with no end
Leave me lying in the dirt
Well I guess
It's a whiskey kind of night
And dammit I know it ain't right
And I'll damn me tomorrow
But open a bottle
Drink one for sorrow
So here's to another
Whiskey kind of night
And dammit I know it ain't right
And I'll damn me tomorrow
But open a bottle
Drink one for sorrow
So here's to another
Whiskey kind of night
One more night I'm alone
Once more darkened by thought
Always on my own
Hope it counts for nought
And one more night I can't sleep
So I pour me a drink
Embrace the shadows I keep
Standing at the brink
Well I guess
It's a whiskey kind of night
And dammit I know it ain't right
And I'll damn me tomorrow
But open a bottle
Drink one for sorrow
So here's to another
Whiskey kind of night
And dammit I know it ain't right
And I'll damn me tomorrow
But open a bottle
Drink one for sorrow
So here's to another
Whiskey kind of night
So I'll find me again
Midst a sea of empty bottles
And broken glass
And say it won't happen again
Til the memories come flooding back
Then I drown myself in another glass
Well I guess
It's a whiskey kind of night
And dammit I know it ain't right
And I'll damn me tomorrow
But open a bottle
Drink one for sorrow
So here's to another
Whiskey kind of night
And dammit I know it ain't right
And I'll damn me tomorrow
But open a bottle
Drink one for sorrow
So here's to another
Whiskey kind of night
And I guess it's whiskey again tonight
Yeah I guess it's whiskey again tonight
Yeah it's whiskey tonight
Oh it's whiskey tonight
Yeah it's whiskey
Oh it's whiskey
Oh it's another
Oh my lord it's another
Oh it's another
Whiskey kind of night
~ ~ ~
Crossroads
You're staring at the crossroads
Eyes of uncertainty
Don't let fear overcome you
For who knows your destiny
Only time will tell
Only time can let us see
And you keep asking me the question
Should you go or should you stay
I say do what's best for you
And don't regret the choice you make
Only time will tell
Only time will have a say
Only time only time
Only time will tell
Only time only time
Only time will tell
And my friend I cannot guide you
For your path's your own to seek
I can only stand beside you
As I know you'd do for me
Only time will tell
Only time knows what's to be
And if you end up where you started
It doesn't mean you're stepping back
For if your happiness is found there
Then I see nothing wrong with that
Only time will tell
Only time can answer that
Only time only time
Only time will tell
Only time only time
Only time will tell
And we can't predict the future
And we can't control the past
And we don't know what's to follow
If our happiness will last
No we can't predict the future
No we can't control the past
But you should know I'm right beside you
As you travel down your path
Only time only time
Only time will tell
Only time only time
Only time will tell
Only time only time
Only time will tell
Only time only time
Only time will tell
And I know my friend
You'll find purpose in the end
~ ~ ~
Untitled
I remember you once said to me
Oh my darling we were meant to be
You said you felt it deep within your soul
If I wanted you could make me whole
But now that future that you showed to me
Is just another faded memory
Because in leaving me you broke my soul
And then you ripped apart the heart you stole
All I wanted was
All I wanted was
All I wanted was forever with you
All I wanted was a lifetime
To call you mine
All I wanted was forever with you
All I wanted was
All I wanted was you
And now it hurts to view you from afar
My love for you a never-ending scar
My every waking thought is of you dear
And the joy I felt to have you here
And even though I know you've gone too far
If you came back to me I'd gift the stars
To hold you in my arms again my dear
And I could be the man to catch your tears
All I wanted was
All I wanted was
All I wanted was forever with you
All I wanted was a lifetime
To call you mine
All I wanted was forever with you
All I wanted was
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was forever with you
All I wanted was a lifetime
With you by my side
All I wanted was forever with you
All I wanted was
All I wanted was you
But I wont get what I wanted
To see you smiling at me
I hope you find what you look for
I hope you find what you need
And I won't have what I wanted
If that makes you happy
And I hope that you're better
I hope you've found what you need
~ ~ ~
Untitled
Hey there traveler
You're going
Nowhere fast
Don't hold onto
Futile moments they
Just cannot last
You know you
Can never be free til you're
Freed from the past
Weary traveler
Well you're frozen
In time
Desire for purpose
It shackles and keeps
You in line
You cannot move forward
If you keep looking
Back for a sign
You cannot accept it as fate
That you'll carry that weight
Oh carry on, til you find your way home
Oh carry on, but you'll do it on your own
Hey there stranger
Won't you stray
From your path
A haven awaits
If you'd like it's
A place to restart
There's no comfort in cold
When you've welcomed
The warmth of the hearth
Lonesome stranger
You're surrounded
By friends
They're hurting like you
But together I think
You could mend
Don't push them away
Like you know this
Is how it will end
You know that it's never too late
To be rid of that weight
Oh carry on, til you find your way home
Oh carry on, but you'll do it on your own
Hey there dead man
Have you really
Survived?
When you live just
To live one more day
Are you really alive?
And if you really must go
Then I hope you're not
Going to die
Go home dead man
The vicious cycle's
Complete
You'll end up the victor
But all that you'll know
Is defeat
But if that's what it takes
Then I hope that
You're finally free
And I hope if this really was fate
You've unburdened that weight
Oh carry on, til you find your way home
Oh carry on, but you'll do it on your own
Oh carry on, til you find your way home
Oh if that's your fate
You're gonna
Carry that weight
Novel about finding peace after loss
Risk of psychiatric disorders among the surviving twins after a co-twin loss
The twin bond has been suggested to be the closest and most enduring human social relationship... the unique relationship between twins [or siblings with a less than 18 months' age gap] is characterized by distinct intimacy and ambiguous identity boundaries. The genetic relatedness, shared early life experiences, and attachment have been suggested to contribute to the development of the shared twin identity... Consequently, when exposed to a co-twin death, both the grief (i.e., emotional reactions) and confusion of identity may contribute to a profound and long-lasting vulnerability of surviving twins... the subsequent risk of developing first-diagnosed psychiatric disorders increased by 55–65% in the twin population... persistently existed more than 10 years after the loss... the long-term mental health decline among the surviving twins could also be attributable to the impairment of beneficial social support due to the co-twin loss and possible life-style changes, such as substance abuse or sleep problems... the 29% increased rate of psychiatric disorders observed after loss of a non-identical co-twin than loss of a full sibling should be largely attributable to bereavement.... other studies have also suggested a 15–20% excess risk of psychiatric disorders among individuals exposed to loss of a full sibling, as compared to the general population...Stand By
Ph. +61 1300 727 247 for support for grief and shock from suicide.